The Year Away Letter
by LaDiDaanifan
Summary: One year ago Tsuzuki kills the only person Muraki ever called friend. And now, one year later, Muraki has a little truth that Tsuzuki needs to know about what really made him kill his only friend and what Hisoka kept from him for over a year. OOCness
1. The year away Letter

**LaDaDaanifan: AhhhhH! Why did I write this!**

_Dear Tsuzuki,_

_If your wondering why some one like me would write you a simple letter, thats mainly because doing something of the highest quality never works, so this is it. The very last thing you'll ever get from me._

_Oriya is dead. Did you know that? You killed him exactly one year ago, today.You proberly don't remember though. Your so called 'friends' most likely never tried to get you full memory back. Since I was never called friend I'll just tell you myself._

_You killed him._

_He wasn't even meant to be there but you did it anyway. To tell you the truth I always thought of you as the kind non-violent type. Hell your ways of life even shocks me at times.Of course my desire for you grew at that moment until you fired at him enstead of me. We all knew you could kill me. And everybody knew that you loved me. So you went after my only friend—just like I went after Hisoka, eerie ne?_

_I bet your still wondering whats really going on, trying to remember your evil deeds that year ago. But you wont remember. I know you too well for that. You were in such a state of shock that towillingly threw yourself into a coma. And when you woke up you didn't remember. And your quiet lover, Hioska, told the others not to tell you about what you did. I wonder what type of friend would do that._

_But I guess he wanted to protect you. And it worked. He protected you just like he said he would. But I ask you this... who is protecting him, right this minute, while your reading this letter WHO is protecting him?_

_By this time I bet your eyes must be wide and filled with fear. Ah, I can just imagine the sensational fear welling up in your eyes._

_Better get here on time or you might not make it. We'll be having tea at the park._

_**Your eventual death, Muraki**_

Tsuzuki dropped the letter and started to run out of the office. "Oh god Hisoka please be alright!"

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**Author's note: I don't really know why I worte this. Should I continue? I bet you wondering a lot of things. But no reviews means no one cares so I'll just not update anything. (sigh) I'm tired. Reviews are very much loved.**


	2. Tsuzuki did it

**Author's Note: OH NO! I'm back! Its actually the same day as I wrote the first chapter but I stil felt like typing so here I am. And Muraki is so OOC that no one can take it! But please review.**

**D/C: Ok You should know by now that I don't own Yami no matsuei

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Tsuzuki ran all the way to the park. And to his surprise, Muraki was there drinking tea just like he said he would be doing.

"Ah Tsuzuki-san, what brings you here on this fine day?"

"Where is he!" Tsuzuki was breathing very heavy and so he didn't want to pay games.

"You should have to have manners in my presence."

"Where?" Tsuzuki could feel the tears stinging his eyes.

"Why Tsuzuki, I would think that you could have some more respect after you killed my friend in cold blood. This is his fabulous anniversary!" He laughed long a very hard. Muraki went finally went completely insane.

"Whats wrong with you!" Tsuzuki huffed. "I'm SORRY just let Hiso—Muraki... where is Hisoka?" Tsuzuki's eyes went very wide. Muraki took a sip from his cup and smiled.

"Tsuzuki whats the rush? I want a bit of a chat with you before I send you off to see him." His smile crossed his entire face. "Should you at least be nice to me on this day."

"Please... please just let him go." Tsuzuki dropped to his knees and cried. "I cant remember **I cant remember!** Just let him go..."

Muraki frowned. Stood up and roughly kicked Tsuzuki up. "I was crying then too!You don't want to remember! You couldn't take it! **You DID IT**!" Muraki nearly beat Tsuzuki to death. And Tsuzuki just took it. "Oriya. Is. Dead!"

Finally Tsuzuki hit the ground with a loud thud. "I'm sorry. But please just let Hisoka go. You can kill me if you want." Muraki chuckled at that.

"Death is too good good for you. You are meant to **live and suffer** through out it all. I would have died just fine if you were the one to kill me, but you didn't go after me, you went after a human. Are you disgusted with your self?"

"Yes... "

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**Author's Notes: ;-; Poor Tsuzuki. This isn't going well for anybody... reviews means more chapters so go and review... or Tsuzuki might not make it! Ahhhh! **


	3. only me

**Author's notes: I guess this is one of those fics that show different views of a character. And because of that terrible flame, I thought about not continuing but since people care enough to review, then I'll continue! YAY!**

**Chapter 3**

"Yes, I cant remember but I'll do anything for Hisoka back." Tsuzuki pleaded for six minutes about Muraki told him to get up. "I just need him back."

"Its funny how this would have never happened if you just gave your body to me from the beginning. But no, you just had to love Hisoka and you just had to save everybody. And in the end you killed him."

"I cant..." Tsuzuki trailed off while standing up staring at the ground. " I cant remember... so why are you doing this? Why take revenge if nothing could have been helped?" Tsuzuki asked quietly.

"You don't remember but I do. You aimed right past me and hit him. And of course I wouldn't be this upset if you morned the way I did but you didn't even blink once because the brat didn't tell you!" Muraki sighed. "He thought that if you didn't know it would put less weight on your shoulders. But look at you! You were just too carefree to notice that every time you brought that subject up it was quickly dodged. You didn't even notice you were being kept in the dark about what you **really** did, and what you really think of me."

"Hisoka... how could you do that?" Tsuzuki asked—mainly to himself. "Muraki, please..." Tsuzuki looked down to the ground. "I don't.."

"You don't what?" Muraki roared while slapping Tsuzuki in the face. "I hate hurting you, but I love your eyes fulled pain. But to see you in true pain I'll let you see Hisoka, and I'll let him tell you what really happened. I'll wait for you to return."

"...How do you know I'll come back? How do you know I'll wont get Hisoka and run!"

"Because you'll have no choice but to come back when he tells you what happened. When all the truth is seen, you'll come back to me." He smiled. "You'll find your friend in the burned down church near Oriya's grave. Till next time Tsuzuki-san."

8888

Tsuzuki ran all the way to the church. His mind went completely blank nearing it. "Please be okay Hisoka!" Tsuzuki slowed downed as he neared the church doors. Panting, his slowly opened the doors.

Inside the the church stood the the cross and Hisoka laying neatly across it. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki ran up to his side and tugged on his shoulders. "Hisoka! Hisoka! We have to leave right—Hisoka? Whats wrong!" Hisoka didn't move but his eyes were open as if he was in a trance. Tsuzuki pulled him in to a tight embrace. "Hisoka... please lets just leave..." Tsuzuki quietly sobbed in the younger boy's shoulders.

"Love..." Tsuzuki tentatively stared in Hisoka's un dead green eyes.

"What are you saying Hisoka! We have to go!"

"Love..." Panting, Tsuzuki let out a tired sigh.

"What about 'love'? I don't know what happened but I'm not leaving you here and I'm not going back to the park! Lets go!" Finally Hisoka began to blink slowly but remained quietly

"Love... Tsuzuki, it was all for love." Hisoka leaned closer to Tsuzuki's face. "You... you only did it for love... I thought you were going crazy but you were perfectly sane. You pickd someone else and I couldn't take it... I wanted to be with you... only." He fell into Tsuzuki's arms. "Only me... only me..." Tsuzuki sighed.

"Why would you think I would pick someone else? What really happened to me?" Tsuzuki quietly asked while staring up at the cross which steadily stood over them. "When did my truth became every ones lie?"

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**Author's Notes: OK not what I expected but good enough for me and you too, I hope. I'm also hoping that from this chapter—if your paying attention-- you can fill in the blanks when it comes to what really happened a year ago. But if you cant, thats great for me because you need me to update to see what happens, So please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's notes: Okay, back! This chapter is another short one because this story hasn't been updated in a while so I wanted to get something up before the weekend ended. Please enjoy and review.**

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**D/C: I don't own the characters of Yami no Matsuei... sad, huh?**

A week had passed and Hisoka remained idle at the hospital.

"I don't understand, Watari. What happened to me that Hisoka would think that I was going crazy? Why did I kill Oriya? Why everything?"

A sad smile quietly took over the blondes features. "Because you had to fall in love...because everything was in the way."

"In. The. Way." He stared, not at Watari, but into an endless haze that only he could see.

"_I love you, but..."_

"_Don't blame yourself, my love...all you have to do is give up..."_

"_I won't... I'll never forgive myself if I did..."_

"_But... Oriya... he told me..."_

"WHAT? Oriya what?" Tsuzuki screamed to the sky and held his head tight.

"Tsuzuki, calm down!" What's wrong!" The brunette slapped the helping hand away in frustration.

"Why won't you tell me? Muraki knows I'm going back to him... why does he think that? Why did I kill Oriya?" Tears blinded his violet eyes.

The scientist took long and hard breaths. "Because Oriya was in the way. You... you aimed at him because Muraki was leaving to be with him. And now Bon is in the way of getting to you, but..."

"But what, Watari?" Tsuzuki quietly sat with his hand hovered over his eye. "I would never kill for that... never..." The blond calmly stared at the glistening streaks of tears falling from unseen eyes.

"Let Hisoka explain everything when he returns... just remember that Muraki wasn't meant to be a part of your life."

"But a year ago I didn't think that, did I?" Silence took over the air for a moment. "I get it. At least I know what kind of monster I can really be... no point in protecting me now."

Tsuzuki left the lab. His destination: The park.

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**Author's Notes: Like I said before, SHORT CHAPTER! Still review and tell me what you thought! Or I'll cry!**


	5. The Truth Comes Hard

**Author's Notes: HEY! HEY! HEY! Hello, readers and reviewers. I am Daphne! Also known as LaDiDaanifan! And I bring to you another chapter of "The Year Away Letter" I have to admit that the title does suck but I'm never good with junk like that... so... um... on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei!**

**Chapter 5**

As Tsuzuki neared the park, his stomach began to turn upside down.

"Hello, Tsuzuki. Nice to see you again." He smiled. "I guess you weren't able to talk to the boy or you would have come much later."

"Muraki, why are you punishing everyone for one mistake?" Violet eyes steadily stared into destiny.

"You're so foolish. Mistakes are mistakes, but have you ever wondered that maybe you _wanted_ to kill Oriya? That maybe demons in your heart made you go after him?" Muraki said in a sharp tone.

"But, why would I do that to Oriya? He's never done anything wrong! I wouldn't kill him for anything!" He groaned. And before he could get an answer Muraki's lips pressed firmly onto his own.

He wanted to pull away, but somewhere in his mind or his heart made him stay and as fast as it started it ended.

"What was that? Your way of shutting me up?" He said with a slight blush taking over his cheeks and rage in his eyes.

"Wow. Questions, questions. You used to ask less of them. But, now, all you want is answers." His sliver eye never left from Tsuzuki's glare.

"Just tell me what I need to hear. Please! I want to know before Hisoka wakes up." Tsuzuki begged.

"You were jealous." He stated simply.

"Jealous of what? What did he have that I couldn't get? You're making no sense!" Shutting his eyes tight, he tried not to lose his cool. "You make no sense... I was happy with Hisoka until that damn letter came to me from you!"

"Happy? Think carefully, Tsuzuki... were you ever really happy with that boy? Or were you happy with _me_?"

The sky was clear and the air was thick. "I don't understand... I would never be with you! You're a murderer! You're a monster!"

"No! _You're_ the monster! You're the one who killed Oriya because I was leaving you for him! I was leaving because you kept on holding back and Oriya was already willing to come to me. Do you want to guess what happened after?"

"You're lying! I would never do that!" His breath stopped short in his throat.

"Not you but a very special demon created within the very darkness and jealousy at the bottom your heart." A false eye glowed in amusement as Tsuzuki's tears consumed his eyes. "But, it's OK Tsuzuki... it wasn't your fault that you created a demon by accident then killed my one only friend. It's not your fault that your eyes brightened when you saw Oriya's blood pour from his body and on to his kimono .And it's not your fault the truth seems to love running from you. I've forgiven you with all my heart and soul." Cradling the sobbing form in his arms, the taller figure began to laugh.

Raising his head slowly with a terrified look in his violet eyes, Tsuzuki stared at the laughing Muraki. The harder he laughed, the madder Tsuzuki got. "What is so funny? Do you even know what you do to me every single day!"

"No, I don't! All I know about is a love that you once had for me. A love that even had the boy thinking you went crazy... But the reason I laugh is because I figured everything out. We destroyed all the things in our lives that keep us apart."

"You killed Oriya to make sure that I wouldn't leave you for him. And now Hisoka's in the hospital! How beautiful! We keep each close even when the lives of other are against it."

"This. Cant. Be."

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**Author's Notes: Yeah, I guess I'll stop this chapter here... sorry but when ideas stop coming—I stop typing. So what did you think? Yeah, it's not very descriptive and might not even be _good_! But, If you did like it, go and review so I would be motivated to make faster chapters.**


	6. Almost

**Author's Notes**:Wazzup Wazzup WAZZZUPPPP! You all should remember that from Marti right? ... So, anyway I'm so sorry I took so long with this! I've gotten so lazy with this site and I've also started an entirely new story and I do have a life that needs to be filled with friends, school, boyfriends, and sleep. So, no more excuses... ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei

**Chapter 6**

"This isn't right! I never wanted any of this! You forced this on me!" The shinigami cried out.

"No, actually... we forced this on each other... and for some reason you're the only one complaining. Why?" Never breaking his gaze once, Muraki walked over to the other man. "Can you honestly say you've never even thought about it in that way? That never in your undead life did you dream about my presence?"

Swallowing hard, the brunette muttered a small 'no'. Even if he tried to lie, inside he knew the truth. Muraki had haunted his dreams ever since they met. And even if he didn't want to admit it, sometimes he knew that the blond was going to forever love him the most. He was disgusted with himself for that.

"No?" Musing over the shinigami's answer he took in his sobbing form curled up on the ground wishing for everything to disappear. He had to admit that Tsuzuki was most beautiful like this, when he was sad and even drained in blood; that gave his eyes a perfectly defined look. But over the last year he began to notice that having him close was much better than having him in pain. "Then can you answer this... if I let you go... can you be sure you won't come back to me? That you won't even have a second thought about it?"

"Yes." He simply stated firmly.

"Fine. I give you your freedom. You won't ever have to see me again." Quickly pulling the man to his feet, Muraki closed the place between their lips and tenderly sealed the perfect kiss.

Again the shinigami didn't pull away but he didn't kiss back either. Too many emotions flooded through his veins for him to. Was this right or was this wrong? Was this safe to have this man kiss you?

But before any questions could be answered—unconsciously—he started to kiss back, moving his own lips in unison with the other's. It was a sensation he was afraid of, but not one to run away from. This feeling couldn't be described with words as their tongues slowly set out to meet the other in hot, wet bliss. Soon, the childish wrestle between their tongues needed air more than each other and they paired against the brunette's unwanted silent groan.

"Muraki..." He stared still bewildered by the intensity of the kiss.

"You can go now...even if you've forgotten everything...I won't let you forget my touch." And with that he disappeared among the wisps of pure white feathers leaving Tsuzuki standing there as if he was stood up at the prom.

"Why... are you doing this to me? Why didn't you just let me live in my lie... Muraki."

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**Author's Notes: All right! Short chapter. YES! But, I enjoyed it all the same. I'm getting a pretty clear vision of the next chapter but... if you don't review, how am I suppose to know if you all even want another chapter! And also, Sorry again I took so long!**


	7. Lie to me I wont mind

**Author's Notes: Hello all! (huggles readers and reviewers) Did you miss me? Turns out I'm being forced to study more than I thought, so fast and enjoyable chapters aren't completely in my reach but I am working. So enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei**_

**Mood: Anxious**

A tall brunette stood quietly at the foot of the hospital door. Peering inside, his mind wondered back to what he was told. And now he only wanted one thing from his young partner. The truth. It was all he ever wanted and yet he never knew how badly he actually needed it until now.

"It's now or never." He whispered before he stepped inside the room. There in the all-white room was a single bed under a large window with the shades drawn, only leaving a single ray of light to hit the sleeping form in the bed. Slowly he walked up to bed and took a seat next to it.

"It's all my fault, but, Hisoka...why did you lie to me?" He stared teary eyed, at the sleeping Hisoka. He had gotten paler over this short time, his chestnut brown hair, turned dull and gray from artificial hospital air. And even in his worst form, he was still as beautiful as ever. "Will you sleep forever, and leave me alone? You're not dead... we both know that. So why are you forcing this on me? I need the truth." With one last plea, Tsuzuki sighed and sat up.

"Tsuzuki." Green eyes slowly opened, sadly staring into violet. "I can't sleep when your emotions are so high... I felt it when you walked in this building." The empath turned his head, facing anything but his partner.

"If you knew I was here then why didn't you-"

"Because I didn't want to!" He spat—his temper acting up already.

"Tell me the truth. Did I kill Oriya because I was jealous? Did a demon possess me? Did you lie to me for over a year?" He asked, walking closer to his younger partner. "I know Muraki didn't lie to me about what he said."

"And how do you know that he wasn't lying?" He asked, finally putting attention into the conversation. "How do you know he's telling you the truth? That this isn't a game?"

"Because... I feel it in my heart. I know it in my head-"

"**That** was the problem! Your heart! How could you do this to me? Falling in love with Muraki! How...? How...?" He screams slowly putting in knives into Tsuzuki's heart. "I thought you were going crazy, Tsuzuki. But I was wrong. I was dead wrong. You fell in love and I couldn't handle it...I didn't want to handle it. And then everything got worst when you turned into that demon." he paused staring.

"The demon that was created within my heart... out of jealously. Because of Oriya." He sighed. Hearing the truth from Hisoka didn't make it any less bearable.

"Well, now you know everything. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? You only wanted to protect me right? But, what do we do now?" He looked up to his young partner as if asking him to tell him what to do.

"**We** don't do anything... I won't tell you what to do because it's not my decision. Will you go to him?" There was clear sadness in the boy's voice.

"No!" No sooner Hisoka was glomped by the childish man. " I won't go back! Please let me stay! You can lie to me forever... I wont mind." He harshly wispered. "Lie to me..."

'Lie to me' The man continued to chant, his arms tightened around the boy's neck as he lay over the younger shinigami with tears streaking his violet eyes. Hisoka sighed running his fingers through the man's dark brown locks of hair.

"I can't..." He finally whispered to him.

"Lie to me..." Hisoka heard once more. "Lie to me..."

"I can't..." He wihpered again, trying to hold back more tears.

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**Author's Notes: Wow! I hope someday someone will smile in this story soon! Well, thank you to all the people who continue to read this story even when I continue to torture you with cliff hangers, plot changes and awful writing skills (cries in a corner) Please review!**


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